I've got a golden thread to share with you today.

It's part of a conversation in our membership.

And it shows me the guys in there are paying attention to what they are reading and how they are feeling.

I'll also briefly explain how you can use this to your benefit.

So, the men in The Spark (only 23p a day to join and a great start in your own personal development Journey)...

and the men in The Network (more in-depth support but still only £1.15 to join)...

...get a set of questions every Monday and Friday to fill in.

It helps them evaluate life, focus, stay accountable, plan, and assess.

And I write different questions every week based on psychology (how your brains work best).

Last week's questions were met with some excellent observations and comments.

I'm going to share the comments...

...and you'll SEE how they used a thinking process to work out what I was doing.

And after that I'll explain 'THE SCIENCE' behind it.

So the questions had a deliberately negative slant.

For example:

1) What conversation, task, or decision did you delay even though you knew it mattered?

2) Where did you shrink this week?

3) What story did you tell yourself to stay comfortable?

4) If someone filmed your week and you had to watch it back… What would frustrate you most?

And here's how there conversation unfolded.

I want you to really pay attention to the brief journey in these men's minds and the decision they made themselves.

MEMBER 1:

Notice this guy felt something about the negative slant of the questions.

It moved something in him and set off a little alarm.

But then he took a step back (very wise) and realised he was feeling inner resistance, and that led to self reflection.

Here's where it gets even better.

MEMBER 2 said:

So even when faced with a negative slanted question, the guys were able to look for the positives and not let it affect them.

How valuable do you think that is in life as a skill?

And WHY do I do that sometimes?

There is solid psychology behind it.

In a nutshell...

Negative questions trigger honest reflection (the brain’s error-detection system).

Your brain has something called the Anterior Cingulate Cortex (ACC).

Not easy to pronounce, I admit.

It's near the front of the brain.

One of its main jobs is spotting mistakes, gaps, and inconsistencies.

And we all have those throughout our life.

When a bloke reads a question like:

• Where did you avoid something important this week?
• Where did you break a promise to yourself?
• Where did you fuck things up?

the ACC lights up because the brain immediately starts scanning for errors in behaviour.

This is useful because:

• Humans naturally avoid thinking about their mistakes
• The question forces conscious awareness

Without that awareness, nothing changes.

This is why good therapists and coaches often ask uncomfortable questions first.

The fact that the guys said the questions felt negative...

...tells us something useful:

It means the questions hit the mark emotionally.

And from my 8 years of doing this I can promise you...

Men often resist self-reflection when it touches something uncomfortable.

We can go deeper on this next week and I will give you something that takes 1 minute but can improve your motivation.

But, if you're desperate to have one self reflection question to lead in to the weekend with - here it is:

What’s one move you can make next week that would make you proud of yourself?

Have a great weekend and speak to you Monday.

Anthony

Whole Man Academy

​Find out more about joining me and the guys in the membership here ​