The Whole Man Journal is three short reads a week — Monday, Wednesday, Friday. On your energy and your edge, going further in business, knowing where you're headed, and the men you surround yourself with. For men aged 35 to 60 with serious ambitions and the belief their best years are still ahead. From the Whole Man Academy, running men's events across the UK since 2018. Add your email below and join the men already reading.
A strange trick your brain plays on you
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Your brain hates unfinished questions. Which is why a negative question can change your behaviour. On Friday I talked about how they trigger honest reflection. That's why I'll give you a simple framework below that can help you be more motivated, get more done, and have more success. But first... To develop my point further... There’s also something called Negative Visualisation in Stoic philosophy. Deep thinkers like Seneca and Epictetus encouraged people to imagine loss, mistakes, or decline. Why? Well, yes it can be hard and challenging and uncomfortable... But it produces two powerful outcomes:
So a question like: “Where did you waste time this week?” can trigger: “Shit… actually I did waste time scrolling more bullshit on my phone.” Which then leads to: “Right. Next week I’m stopping that.” That’s productive discomfort, not negativity. There's a subtle difference. It pushes you to change your behaviour, but if you didn't allow yourself the awareness, you'll stay stuck in the loop. But a lot of men will avoid asking themselves anything that pushes them to reflect. In fact Carl Jung talked about the shadow... (the parts of ourselves we avoid seeing as men). Things like:
When questions poke that shadow gently, they bring unconscious behaviour into the light. His core idea was simple and worth repeating often. “Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.” What you'll find with this type of exercise is that reflection questions that touch discomfort are often shadow-revealing questions. That can get a bit deep... That’s why they can be powerful. We'll cover more of this at The Adventurer Experience in May. But, before you spend every day asking yourself a shitload of painfully negative questions...A warning: Too many can feel heavy. If every question feels like a mistake audit or a flag of your fuck ups, it can trigger:
That shuts reflection down, and we don't want that at all. Reflection is extremely powerful when used in the right way. The best structure looks something like this: 1/3 positive
1/3 neutral
1/3 challenging
This keeps the process honest but energising. It leads to you working on various areas of life with a momentum that you might struggle to maintain... ...with ONLY positive or ONLY neutral, or ONLY challenging. Anyway, that's enough to get your brain whirring. And here's a question to start this week off: How focused do you feel going into this week (1–10)? The answer to that will tell you something. And if this has been helpful then do check out The Adventurer Experience I'm hosting in May. I'll tell you more about it later in the week. Anthony Whole Man Academy Improve one of more areas of life by joining the Whole Man Academy. |
Anthony Astbury
The Whole Man Journal is three short reads a week — Monday, Wednesday, Friday. On your energy and your edge, going further in business, knowing where you're headed, and the men you surround yourself with. For men aged 35 to 60 with serious ambitions and the belief their best years are still ahead. From the Whole Man Academy, running men's events across the UK since 2018. Add your email below and join the men already reading.
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